3 Things Every Mom wishes Their Daughter Knew

Dear Daughters,

I’m writing this to you, because when I realized that my mom was human and not some super hero our relationship changed for the better.  Being human includes a lot of things, but there’s three things your mom wishes you understood.


“I just want you to look at my project and appreciate what I was working on,” my mom said as a green and purple quilting square fluttered from her fingers to the floor.

My heart stopped and I stood there open-mouthed.  

MY.  MOM.  WAS.  HUMAN.

I know that sounds silly, but she was my mom, it had never occurred to me she was human!  

So, I was surprised when she expressed disappointment because I, her 12 year old daughter, wanted to clean up more than reminisce about the quilt she had started ten years ago and – due to three moves, two of which were international – never finished.   

When I glimpsed her hurt heart it suddenly dawned on me that my mom wasn’t an action hero from some story book.  She was a person like me who wanted encouragement, made mistakes, and wanted what was best for me.

So daughters, I’m writing this to you, because when I realized that my mom was human and not some super hero our relationship changed for the better.  Being human includes a lot of things, but here’s the three things your mom wishes you understood:

Your mom makes mistakes
Mom’s aren’t perfect.  They have feelings.  They get confused.  They don’t know everything.  They make mistakes – it’s called “being human.”  

When I expect my mom to be perfect she confuses me and disappoints me.  But being perfect is a position she was never assigned.  Only God was ever expected to be perfect.  

Choosing to see my mom as an imperfect human, like myself, doesn’t mean I view her as a mistake-monster, but it does mean I’m not disappointed when she makes a mistake.  I have grace for her and honestly it gives me hope, because if my mom, who is so amazing, makes mistakes – I know I can be amazing someday, too!

Action Step: Don’t huff and roll your eyes next time you mom slips up, instead smile and thank God for giving you a mom who tries to do it right.

Your mom wants you to like her
In the story I opened with my mom wanted me to enjoy a project she had worked hard on just like I want her to delight in my races and blog posts.  Moms want affirmation – it’s called “being human.”

And think about it, you’re one of the people your mom spends most of her time with – especially if you’re homeschooled.  She wants you to think she’s cool and does awesome things.

Choosing to encourage my mom doesn’t make me any more important or my mom any less, it simply means I am choosing to see my mom as a child of God, worthy of affirmation.

Action Step: Tell your mom one thing you like about her EVERY DAY this week!

Your mom wants what’s best for you
Recently, I complained to a mentor of mine that my mom was always telling me what to do better and never telling me what I did good.  

“I had to work on that, too.” My mentor thoughtfully responded, “You see as a mom I always want the absolute best for my kids.  I want them to be all they possibly can be.  So pointing out areas for improvement was really me trying to love them.  I had to learn to encourage more the critique.”

I know it’s a pain when your mom tells you to clean your room and put away your pencils and to keep a calendar and check your bank account once a week and,…and,…and!  Especially, when you don’t feel like she noticed the good things you did, like make your bed and put your dishes in the dishwasher.

Just know, your mom wants what’s best for you.  In fact, she wants what’s best for you soooooo bad she forgets to notice the good.

On another note: I don’t always agree with my mom’s decision or like the way her her direction turns out, but I know that whatever my mom says or does is always because she wants what’s best for me.

Choosing to understand that my mom’s instructions are one of the ways she loves me does not mean I do everything wrong, instead it means I’m choosing to believe the truth that my mom wants the best for me.  

Action Step: Instead of thinking “mom doesn’t think I’m good enough” when you hear her instructions, think “my mom wants me to be the best I can be.”

In Conclusion
Your mom is human and makes mistakes.  That should fill you with hope not disappointment.  Your mom is human and she wants your encouragement.  That should make you feel special.  Your mom is human and wants what’s best for you.  That should make you feel safe and loved.

Now, don’t get me wrong, even though I know my mom is human I still consider her to be the next best thing to super woman, which is awesome, because she’s a human super woman whose life I get to be a part of.  And, that’s not disappointing at all.  Actually, it makes me feel safe and special!  

P.S. And, quite honestly, it gives me permission to be human, too!

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3 comments

  1. Thank you Samantha. I read this in tears and then sent this to my daughter and I hope she will read it. It is so rare that a daughter (or even a son) can see that a mom only wants the best for their daughters and can only try despite all their imperfections. Your appreciation of your mom is beautiful and it is a joy to read these words of affirmation.

  2. Wow- you hit the nail right on the head, Samantha! It is amazing that you know exactly what us mothers want our daughters to know and you are not a mother at this time. Thanks for sharing!

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